Ch-Ch-Changes

I find it interesting how stressful it is to change jobs. I see so many people stay in one job for way longer than they should because they fear change For them it’s easier to just stay in an unsatisfying job than to deal with the stress and uncertainty of change. Others seem to embrace change and hop from job to job to job looking for the one that will satisfy them and make them happy.

I’m somewhere in between. Constantly looking, rarely accepting. I’ve attempted to start a business on the side several times over the last 8 or 10 years, but none of them have ever panned out into something that made money. I’d have to classify them as hobbies at this point, fun to work on, took a lot of my time, but ultimately they went nowhere. I still love the idea of working for myself, building web apps that attract thousands of users who need the solution that I’ve created. There’s just something about that idea that sounds massively gratifying.

I’m changing jobs for the third time in 12 years (2nd this year) and it feels very strange. I know I’m doing the right thing by leaving my current job (lots of resistance from the CEO for me even being here..it’s a complicated story), but there’s a looming fear that I’ll be unhappy with the new job 6 months from now even though it looks promising on the surface and they really want me there. I should be able to immerse myself in my work, show my value and probably find avenues for promotion since the company is growing fast. But I can’t shake the feeling that it’s still not the thing I’m supposed to be doing.

So it looks like I’m one of those people who fear changing jobs but not the way most people fear it. I fear changing from having a job to not having one and working for myself. In all honesty it’s the fear of losing my house and comfortable way of life that my family has come to enjoy. If I were single and didn’t have so much financial obligation it would be an easy choice to make. I fear change just like the guy who’s afraid to change jobs, our fear just looks a little different.